



The primary reason elder financial abuse is allowed to happen is the lack of transparency in our current systems and processes. Upon appointing a power of attorney or trustee, encouragement or even a requirement should be made to have an outside accounting firm either perform the bookkeeping or oversee the bookkeeping.
Furthermore, in this age of cloud technology, it is not too much to ask that the books and records be hosted on a platform where all beneficiaries and professional team members can view the financial activity. Advisors, attorneys, and accountants need to see themselves as services to the elderly client, not the trustee or beneficiaries – split loyalties can cause moral and ethical dilemmas. Those professionals should be making the recommendation for transparency right out of the shoot before any impropriety when the trustee is eager to show that their intentions are pure.
Suppose the professional is called upon to fulfill the role of trustee. In that case, there is even more reason for all to be transparent as it reduces suspicion by the family and increases accountability. In fact, it can be a positive differentiating factor for those professionals that are positioning themselves to be providers of that service. Just submitting quarterly reports is not an acceptable level of transparency today – there are better options in the marketplace for that intent upon doing the right thing – those books and records should be hosted and regularly reviewed by an outside firm!
About Complete Controller® – America’s Bookkeeping Experts Complete Controller is the Nation’s Leader in virtual bookkeeping, providing service to businesses and households alike. Utilizing Complete Controller’s technology, clients gain access to a cloud platform where their QuickBooks™️ file, critical financial documents, and back-office tools are hosted in an efficient SSO environment. Complete Controller’s team of certified US-based accounting professionals provide bookkeeping, record storage, performance reporting, and controller services including training, cash-flow management, budgeting and forecasting, process and controls advisement, and bill-pay. With flat-rate service plans, Complete Controller is the most cost-effective expert accounting solution for business, family-office, trusts, and households of any size or complexity.
In many areas of our lives, we share struggles and triumphs with others, but our financial lives remain secret. Why? I think a lot of it has to do with shame. Everyone compares their own financial fitness with the parts of their friend’s and neighbors’ financial lives that they chose to share – the good part. It’s likened to viewing someone’s FaceBook page and believing that the slew of smiling moments with groups of friends and family is a fair representation of their life. That’s not their life – that’s what they want you to see!
Talk to your kids – In our line of work, we get the inside scoop on how many households with varying degrees of wealth and income manage their affairs. One thing that is evident – wealthy families are more likely to teach their heirs about money management. If financial security and self-supporting skills are important to a family, they will talk about it. Too many kids leave home to go to college without understanding basic financial rules of thumb: What portion of your income should your rent be? When is it smart to use credit to make a purchase? How much of your income should be saved?
Talk to your friends – When you show up authentically in a relationship, you accomplish two very important things – you make yourself teachable. You allow room for the other person to be authentic. When you are young, and it’s hip to be broke, everyone is broke, but one friend gets a good job and buys a fancy car, and then you stop talking about your finances. If you knew the truth, you might find that they are more broke than you. While you are living paycheck to paycheck, they owe more than they will make for the next six months!
Talk to your spouse (and your spouse-to-be) – It is interesting how we will date someone, become physically intimate, and even meet their friends and family without ever knowing their credit score or bank balance. Then we fall in love and resent our partner for their past financial flaws. What would be so wrong with talking about those things early in the ‘getting to know you’ stage? And how many marriages that have underlying financial problems wind up in divorce? More than those that don’t – financial stress is one of the common factors found in relationships that suffer from the big three: abuse, addiction, and adultery. Developing open and frank financial conversations at the beginning of the relationship is healthy. At the point when you decide to live together, creating a household budget will foster honesty and collaboration in financial matters.
I came from the generation that wished our high schools had offered a class in financial health – far beyond learning to balance a checkbook. When should you use credit, and when should you never use credit? What is the stock market, and what is compounding interest? When should I invest, and in what? What is diversification, and how does it protect me? Why do most divorced households have financial issues at the core of their dysfunction? What is a budget, and how should it be used? How can each person ensure their own autonomy even if they want to raise kids, travel, or be of service to their community?
Because I did not benefit from anyone initiating these conversations about topics that ultimately shaped my financial future, I was eager to start them with my kids – my millennials. It took them until their early twenties to believe I actually knew what I was talking about, and it took an effort on my part to make the topics approachable. Parents who don’t share learning experiences with their kids tend to raise kids who don’t share learning experiences. So, I opened up about the household budget, methods for saving to purchase investments, and experiences of my own and my clients that had succeeded or failed. I also closed the pocketbook. When our children were still young, my sister and I decided that the best way to raise self-sufficient children was to let them be that way from the moment they reached adulthood. We didn’t pay for college or even a cell phone bill or car insurance, but we advised them as they learned how to do those things for themselves.
Today, my three children have taken very different paths and have different struggles and goals related to career and finance, but they do ask for my input, and I feel comfortable giving it. My oldest will call me to brainstorm ideas about her career path, the scope of work, and compensation, while the youngest will call to talk about structuring her life so she can again travel in service for three months out of the year. Here’s the thing, remember that they are your children, separate from you. They are not your opportunity to vicariously relive your life without mistakes. So you can give them your ‘what would I do’ and leave it at that. Sometimes they will learn from your experience, and sometimes they won’t – remember that mistakes are opportunities for growth!! Don’t shame them. Just teach them how to debrief and decide how they would have done it differently.
As consumers, we often point fingers at the banks for any mistakes or shortcomings in their services. However, it is important to remember that they are service providers just like any other profession such as plumbers or accountants. While we do expect a certain level of competence from them, it is also our responsibility to monitor and evaluate their performance from time to time. Therefore, it is crucial to pay attention to certain aspects when choosing a bank. These may include but are not limited to the quality of customer service, the range of services offered, the accessibility of the bank’s branches or ATMs, the fees and charges associated with their services, and the security measures employed to safeguard our personal information. By being vigilant and informed, we can ensure that our banking experience is smooth, satisfactory, and hassle-free.
Transparency – The bank’s online capabilities should be up to snuff. You should be able to log in to your online profile and see all accounts under your social or tax ID number at that bank and all activity on each of those accounts. Your transactions should be showing up within a day of creation. This is important because you will not remember when you bought a candle yesterday at the end of the month. To be efficient and smart about monitoring your banking, you should be able to look at it every day. Some banks will even send you texts to alert you when a transaction hits your account!
Accountability – Statements should drop quickly after the end of each monthly period. It should not take weeks to produce a bank statement for your accounts. When you get your statement, look at it. Just take a quick little look to see if everything meets with your approval. After a plumber fixes your faucet, you will probably try out the faucet to see if it works right. Reviewing your bank statements is the same thing – make sure they did their job.
Respect – Okay, this one is mutual. Your bank is a business that makes money off of your money. Banking is a sophisticated industry, but the basic premise is that they use your money on deposit as leverage for other investments that earn them lots of revenue in the form of interest. Every time someone borrows money from them – whether it is by using a bank credit card, taking out a mortgage or car loan, or over-drafting an account – the bank makes money. If you overdraft your account, you are borrowing money from the bank without their permission. If you do it often or they don’t know you, they won’t want to give you instant credit for your deposits because you are at high risk. Don’t be upset with your bank because they charged you for it – would you trust someone who borrowed money from you without your permission?
Affordability – Since banks are making money on lending, beware of those that are charging you account fees. Usually, the bank will have an account that is the right fit for you based on your activity and average balance. If you have a high average balance, then you can usually manage a lot of transactions through the bank for free because you have provided the bank with enough funds on deposit to increase their ability to make more loans. If you don’t have a lot of money on deposit, then you haven’t given them anyway to make money, and since the bank has to pay its tellers and maintain the technology that processes all of your transactions, they will pass that cost along to you. Select an account that works best for you, and then keep an eye out for those bank fees – some banks will slip them in when you aren’t looking.
You are your own best defense against bad banking – be aware and be safe.